Wednesday, April 17, 2013

  


Soon we will be moving...

More that anything I will miss the deer friend visitors when we have gone, assuming that the graceful creatures won't find us, just a few blocks from this woodsy mountainside space we've kept for the past 2 and a half years.  Our home-to-be is on flat land, closer to main roads and ultimately less likely to be as welcoming to the deer, the bunnies, the chipmunks and squirrels, groundhogs, and foxes (yes! foxes) that we have been delighted to witness traipsing about out back.  

Leaving this place feels right, but as it is the home where Jasper was born on an early winter morning last February, in the same living room where both boys took their first steps, and not far from the kitchen where each brother heard their first Birthday Song.  There will be some growing pains,  some sadness resting deep to the thrill that we feel to move onto a charming little place that I am itching to get into, and sprawl, and have a ball finding home for our favorite things.   









Spring is a'comin



Easter day



best try at a boys shot


notice his shoes:  wrong feet!  


Counting down the days...








Saturday, April 13, 2013

Serendipity/ Birth Story Share Saturday




(Art installment in the bizarrely curated 21c Museum Hotel lobby, Bentonville.)




Some days, when I find myself wanting to create, in the midst of formulating thoughts to share with others, I stumble upon things completely different that end up taking me to places I didn't think I was going to go.  And I end up receiving instead of creating.  Today, I stumbled upon a link on my Facebook profile while looking for an image to share on an unrelated blog post.  I've been less Facebooky lately, having succumb to a moderate attachment to Instagram.  Ok- I'm full on addicted, but I digress.  The link on my Facebook timeline (which I am not too sharp about but have been having fun exploring it) is actually one that lead to my reading the birth story that I composed in the days following Loukas' birth, and published as a "Note." What I received in finding such an archive was a look back in time, correspondence with a Me of past. And I liked Me then.  And I am proud of the Me from then.  Which feels nice.   

I remember the rush of sharing such an intimate experience in my life and I remember that I loved how it was received and looking back at the comments still makes my heart soar.  Also, reading the words is so much a gift.  I will forever be proud of that experience and also proud that I chose to relive my first greatest accomplishment in my little life, that I have those words to go back and read and re-read and marvel at how it was and how it is now to be a new Mother.  For all my faults, I must say that not documenting is up there on the list of things I am 'working on,' that through my Instagram addiction and keeping up with this blog, I aspire to have lots and lots of words and photos to marvel at in the years to come.

In December, I attempted to re-write Loukas' birth story as a Mommy Birthday present to myself, told three years later with new details that come to the surface as the years pass and the ecstasy of the experience that was so heavy, so life changing, has lifted and I am left with funny, cute details that are just as important to me as the ones that were recorded in those Blissed Out postpartum days.  Of course I was interrupted by the kid's wakings and lost my flow in writing in December, so that blog post was a cliff hanger- cancelled during the series winter break.  But maybe I will plan to try to recall a little bit every year on my kids' special days.  Today is only a special day because it is Today, it is not an anniversary of anything that calls for Birth Story shares, but it is Saturday and I stumbled upon this little "note" and I want to share it here.  And I hope the link to my Facebook note works, because I don't know much about all these Internet things, but maybe there will be complications, and I'll have to try some other way of sharing but here goes:

https://www.facebook.com/notes/nicolette-gawthrop/mlittle-birth-story/232049307123

Friday, March 22, 2013

Just Write

I once took a job as a Barista at a local coffee shop.  I learned to pull a perfect shot, watching a stop watch as the espresso pooled into one of those tiny little handled pourers, careful to keep all the parts hot, clean.  Eager to produce perfectly foamed milk, that when carefully poured into thick crema with the right angle and timing, beautiful artsy leafy lattes (which mostly did not impress a damn person) were created. It was fun.  And there was a lot of milk.  Gallons and Gallons of milk.  And my shoes became black from the coffee grind.  Opening a shop and getting your day's work in before noon is a feeling that I don't long to feel again any time soon.  It was an interesting transitional time in my life, and paid my bills and enriched my person, but not in the way that I claim to 'know' about coffee grind values and acidity and cold press and hoppers and tampers and demitasses.  The sick sick sick feeling of being at work far far far too early.  The muffins.  The sticky icing that filled breakfast breads. The wiping and rewiping and wiping some more.  The washing the dishes by hand in a three basin sink...

What I took away from those six-or-so-some-odd-months was about the people.  The getting to know the people, the starting their drinks when they walked through the door.  The anxious bodies piling in for their morning cuppa before the dawn had broken, starting as a slow trickle then progressing to a stream of 'all the kinds it takes' forming a line to the door as the day grew brighter and brighter.  I made friends from across the counter.  I innocently let a woman pressure me into letting her write a (bogus) check for a questionable amount of cash over the amount of her carmel latte (for gas she said, I know the owner), I played dungeons and dragons, I asked a regular customer what the word for (somethingorother) was in spanish to which he replied "I'm Farsi,"  and one day a known 'eccentric' woman customer (that was on the manager's shit list for convincing barista's to ring up her toddy as a less expensive beverage- myself included) gifted me a crystal 'bride's necklace' (she said) that hangs in my west facing living room window as a sun catcher, spattering rainbows across the walls daily just before the sun sets.  It was always about the people.  And about a single conversation that I had with a co-worker; what I will likely always feel was my purpose for that stint in coffee service.

She was (respectfully) a smarty pants student close to graduating the English department at the University; a writer.  She impressed me with her accounts of the book she was working on and I'm sure that if she were to read any bit of what I have published here on this internet journal- that I unashamedly share with anyone who will read- would have lots to contribute as far as criticisms, etc.  But that is beside the point.  Actually that's exactly the point.  One mid-morning whilst catching our breath after the AM onslaught of caffeine fiends, she was telling me a little bit about what it is like to be a writer, when I offered up a wholehearted, "I think about writing a lot."  

Then she said it.  There was a short aside, like something about a professor of hers quoting a scholar- something really smart that smart people say, followed by: "Don't think (about writing.) Just write." 

I still think about writing all the time.
I found this antique typewriter at the Salvation Army today, a message from the cosmos.  All it takes to be a writer is to write.  How lucky I was to be a Barista.   

Thanks for reading.


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

special specials

Today I sent special mail.
***it was brought to my attention on Instagram that the display of this address could be misleading... this address is the published contact address listed on this lady's blog.  i'm not sharing private information.  if you have not read enjoying the small things, i highly suggest it.  super inspirational and pretty and easily relatable. ***

the dialogue bubble reads "ps-my kid ate some dirt out of our plants whilst i crafted this envelope"

I've always loved mailing... and this make-my-own envelope endeavor was next level mail love.  I like the way it turned out.  Maybe a how-to will be in order... Let me know. 

***
Some other happenings from these past few days...

my hair does braids! (shout out to how to hair girl.  visit her here)

jasper models tutus

coffee and showers are a great pair

first lollipop

sweet boy en route to his first gymnastics class

more tutu dress up

a budding young chef- little boy blue climbed up that step ladder and started stirrin
according to daddy, who was right there the whole time.  

messages of love 

peace to all
Nicolette

Saturday, January 19, 2013

happiness

Last night, to check a to-do off my ever growing mental-list of ideas and goals (a bullet on that list to start writing down my lists by the way) I started to compose a Facebook message to a pal of mine who lives a ways out of town to ask that she stop by Terra Studios on her way in and pick me up a little something to mail to this popular blogger that I adore.  I've been rearranging the boys' room and it hit me the other day that our tiny bluebird of happiness would be the perfect show of love for the inspiration that lady's been.  Halfway through the first sentence I deleted the message.  We'd go ourselves.  And like it.  The weather's been so nice.  Our layers are few these past couple days, as happens in Arkansas.  The sun has been bright and warm, but our household has felt less light and toasty.  

We are adjusting to a newly turned three-year-old clever little Fox who does not nap and exhausts us with his tantrums and his demands and his skills of reason and bargaining.  It must be so hard to be constantly monitored and managed.  I get that.  (I remember that)  And we are all in this together but what a challenge it has been to deal.  There are a lot of ups and downs.

So after (another) long night- many wakings and much restlessness (as I write this I realize that we probably qualify for some kind of family sleep intervention- but that's another story) when we met the day, as coffee steeped- I upped the Saturday day doings ante and suggested we head west to faerie land USA and collect us a tiny bluebird to mail to that stranger in Florida for whom I feel so kindred.   


See my bluebird?  It's one of my very favorite little things- always brings me joy.


Minus a lot of crying, and a few 'this was a terrible idea's escaping my lips as my blood pressure rose and nerves frizzled- unable to soothe our Bear in the back seat for a solid 3/4 of the 20 minute jaunt, we arrived to the land of whimsy which is Terra Studios...

 The sky was blue and clear, the air was crisp, and the sun shine welcoming.   Winter's bare branches and receded greenery were no contest to the colorful, cute and sometimes 'weird in a good way' Art that continues to sprout up about the grounds of this little artist community.  In my years of coming here, today was the most I've appreciated.  "This was a great idea"s soared from lips as we unloaded out van into our stroller and set out to explore...  


T

























I joked on Instagram that this guy reminded me of how I've been feeling lately:::







































But oh how nice it was to be outdoors and to feel the sun.  The woodsy setting of the place felt just enough like being in the woods to feel connected...





































And, of course, there were lots and lots of cute kid photo ops.

















































































































And there were reminders of the season as we comfortably strolled about without heavy winter wear...


































































and then there was this:  










































































Lots to be inspired by






Feed the trash monster face was popular::

***Just a few more::



















































What a splendid time.  The car ride home was not quiet nor calm, I unleashed the ole hover nurse stunt (the norm for even trips across town when I have a driver) and we settled in for the afternoon with yard play sesh and a visit from friends, Daddy went to work.  We made a mental note to start shopping for a new car seat to turn Jasper forward facing as soon as possible, and I'm plotting packaging for Kelle Hampton's tiny blue bird.  How fitting to find so many small things to enjoy along the way. 





























And such pretty pictures to treasure...

Peace to all.
Nicolette