Good Choice

Hello, Blog.

It's been a couple weeks.  I've missed you, but Man I've been all kinds of scattered!  My husband's sweet music festival took place last weekend, and it was a whirl wind of a great time- what I was able to see, anyway.  We had babysitters here and there and I did a lot of back and forth from the venue to home for naps and bedtime and all my Mommy duties.  My favorite part was getting dressed up.  Well, and the food.. and the cocktails.. and seeing people I love!  I did not, however, take a single photo with my fancy new camera, but it was a grand ole time.  Really great- the festival was classy and beautiful and I couldn't be a more proud wife.

Okay- and to be completely honest,  I had a couple meltdowns.  As the weekend ramped up and the anxiety of organizing family time around the events of the festival, arranging babysitters, trying to keep the kids somewhat involved, and lamenting my absence in the late-night scenes, and feeling on my own while my husband was 'The Guy' (one of The Guys) my first half hour of complaining commenced.  Exhausting, I tell you.  Then, a sequel to my brat attack ensued as we exited Roots Festival Fast Lane, slowly descending the off-ramp without a pause, proceeding into the work week- the husband back to running a restaurant that he'd been absent from for a week, needing his attention just as we needed his attention.

We are a close family (not by comparison) but we do most things as unit.  We've never spent a night away from our kids.  I probably rely far too much on my husband to care for our kids when I am pursuing my hobbies, especially considering all that he's got going.  We don't have a lot of family member support, but we always seem to get by and make the best of things!  And this last week was a bit of a doozy.  With lots of ups and downs.  And there's always that moment when we make the choice to take what's before us that is causing strife and choose to surrender- let go of that moment's discomfort and move toward the next moment.  Hold onto each other and laugh and find a new way to look at things.  Cause it's all good.

There's always something, and there'll always be something that might arise and cause momentary discomfort.  I'm just working on finding Grace in remaining flexible and supportive and working hard at being a good example for my children.  But sometimes I succumb to what I perceive as 'discomfort', and turn into a 13 year old version of myself.  I start several projects and add extra challenges for myself (like selling things on Instagram- which I totally love) when I should be focused on our household chores, laundry, home cooked meals, our garden and coordinating stimulating activities to enrich my bright children.  Hey- a gal's got to do what a gal's got to do and sometimes all my ambitions and ideas get all jumbled up in a scattered moment of freak out that the house is a wreck, we're out of groceries and the baby keeps climbing the cabinets while his brother asks for another starchy sugary treat and I shift my frustrations onto my partner, and he is very gracious and patient and kind and we state our truths and we try harder to get in the Flow.  That happened a couple times this past week.  It'll probably happen again, and I won't beat myself up about it.  It's always good to own your, eh-hem, shit and my hope is that the awareness lends to lesser degrees of 13 year old regressions as time passes.  We'll see.

So, It's back to life, and Fall is around the corner.  There will be menu changes for the Restaurant, a Fall Garden to plot, a vacation to plan and meals and diapers and bonked heads and crazy toddlers climbing the cabinets and lots and lots of why's and how's and what's this mean's.  A little sample of that last mention:  last night I scribbled these four sentences on a post-it note.  The rapid fire succession happened in about 60 seconds, from Loukas' little voice:

"I'm very thirsty for some almond milk."
"Mommy? What's a back up plan?"
"You're a Flower."
"You're a Poop."

I have a theory that if at all you are possibly border-line any kind of attention deficit challenge in your life (points to self), if you find yourself spending hours upon hours with a talkative, curious three year old- adding to that sleep deprivation and an inconsistent life schedule (non traditional work schedules, here)- you might find yourself wondering if you've crossed that diagnosable line.

A little bit of a tangent, there, I know- I'm famous for tangents- But! it's not always a bad thing:  I knew that I wanted to spend our last evening of a long run of busy weeks doing something fun with my boys last night before bed while we were solo- Jerrmy cooked dinner at his restaurant last night. So, after some dinner time toddler drama, we distracted ourselves with a little jaunt up the hill to watch the sun set (and get eaten up by mosquitos) from The Cross look-out point atop Mt. Sequoia, which boasts a lovely western view our little town and beyond, and I remembered to bring my camera!  The Soft rays of late day sun beckoned our praise...

A scowl I love

*** Hey- I'm looking forward to the Fall.  For two reasons:  1- We will be on a Beach of Lake Michigan for the Autumnal Equinox (preceded by a few days in Chicago, and followed by a few days in Nashville) and 2- that first freeze, y'all.  Sure sure sure, Fall means pretty leaves and boots and winter squash family fanaticism, but it also means bye bye mosquitos and I for one will be happy like a lark for that one!  We were ATTACKED while watching the sunset last night; I was sweating like crazy snapping these photos and slapping the little suckers away from my legs and babies' faces!  SHEESH*** (totally worth it)

Proud of this one.

That quick ride up the hill was a Good Choice.  A happy little evening Tangent.  

xo, 

N